I got you

on the miracle of friendship

I don’t use facebook very often, but every time I do go on it I cannot help but look at my memories tab. I mostly like looking at them because nothing keeps me more humble than reading the outrageous beliefs I had before.

Except today I happened to look and saw a picture from the first (and only time) I’ve gone ice skating. I was completely terrified, but the friend who convinced me to go was a hockey player so he promised he’d help me.

From getting the skates on, to walking over to the ring, he walked right next to me, but even with his help I’m pretty sure it only took seconds for me to fall. I was embarrassed, but I got up and tried it again.

It felt like only seconds went by and I was on the ground once again. This time it took me a little longer to get up, but I’ll never forget what happened next. My friend came up to me, put his hand out for me to grab it and tried to help me up. I remember I looked him straight in the eyes and said, “what if I fall again?”, and as if it were a movie scene, his eyes lit up with kindness and he said, “It’s okay, I got you.” So I got up, and gave it one more try.

We weren’t talking about ice skating anymore, we were talking about broken hearts and all the tears he let me cry for months as I attempted to heal after losing someone I really cared about. Nine years later and I still get teary by how tender and kind this moment was.

I’ve been thinking a lot about friendship this year, because while my romantic life has never been great, I have been found rich in friendship my entire life. And somehow this year I felt like friendship was the abundance I didn’t even pray for but saved me over and over again, reminding me that Creator is the giver of good gifts.

I can almost guarantee my friend probably doesn’t remember that moment but that moment changed me. I have fallen so many times since then, many times truly wondering if I could ever get up again. But that’s the thing, I’ve always had someone extending their hand to say “It’s okay, I got you.” and each time I am taken aback by the grace I have been given.

If I had to pick a way to summarize this year I would pick three words, but one of them would be friendship because I cannot top the way my friends have welcomed me into their families, into their homes, into their grief and joy, and even into the mundane, the cotidiano moments that make up so much of our lives. Each shared meal, cup of coffee, every FaceTime call, every tear and every belly-hurting-laugh made up the most meaningful memories.

That moment was my miracle nine years ago, but perhaps this is still my miracle today, this is the gift of a lifetime — to know and be known. I am thankful.